singing in the dead of night.





For the first time,


I have no idea where I'm going,


who I'm going to be,



what I'm going to do,


or how I'm going to do it,











and it's the best feeling in the world.




long live living long and loving every minute of it;
Joe

Today was just one of those days when you'd just prefer to do nothing.


I spent all day wishing I could just sit by a window and watch the rain... I could do that for hours.





I get about 5 emails a day from various environmental organizations such as Greenpeace, NRDC, Step It Up, Sierra Club, and others, along with a few from other groups such as Save Darfur.

These are the only emails I respond to 100% of the time.
But.

Sometimes I just feel like giving up.


Sometimes I just feel like quitting the whole fucking race.
It just seems like people honestly don't care.
And I'm sure for some that's the case.

And I sometimes get these moods after I send a flurry of emails to congress, or sign a petition, or call my senators (twice this week), or lodging official complaints with corporations.

It's hard. It's fucking hard to change minds. It's by far the most difficult thing I've ever attempted, and I have no idea if I've even succeeded. But I just keep trying.



I know I'm never going to quit. Just like millions of others wont.
But there are moments.... like right now, when I just want to absorb into the quiet comfort of social apathy.


Apathy is disgusting sometimes.
I can't think of a fate worse than being numb.



I don't like it when people expect things from me... especially when I can't expect to get anything back.


In the very back of my mind is one of the only things that I'm confident of beyond everything around me, beyond my mood, and beyond the invasions of others:

Everything will be alright.


Grudgingly optimistic;
Joe

But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie...













Above are two of the best poems I've ever read.







It's been raining a lot lately - a sure sign of good things.

The weather is cold.

I find my priorities are never the same from day to day, or even from second to second.

Sometimes I think of how silly ambition is.

I derive more enjoyment from sitting near a window during a downpour than 10,000 sunny days could offer.

I often wonder about living with no possessions. I think that the perpetual bliss of simplicity would likely overshadow the periodic moments of non-monotony found in conventional life.

"The mass of men lead quiet lives of desperation." - Thoreau

You say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and Ill never need a lie _{- Fiona Apple}



My fever burns deeper than I've ever shown;
Joe

I continually find that bus rides are less travel and more memory.

With the taste of victory in your mouth, the rain beating softly at the metal sides, and the streaks of rain drops back lit by the pursuing traffic, all I can think about is everything you were and are to me, and all that's yet to come.












Bus riding;
Joe

with you.



I'm putting together a portfolio and will be printing these images tomorrow or Monday, and I need some critique. I've selected the below images because I think they're a) among my strongest work b) really exemplify my style c) show a bit of variety.

So, any photos you think should be there or not be there?







And I'm going to use this image as my Title Piece:




This was a tricky choice for cover image, but I feel strongly about this one. I feel like it really represents who I am, moreover who I've become. The title of this image and the portfolio is, "I Am A Bird Now". This photo is all about transformation and the emotions related to change. You see the lines of my palm in that photo, which I think is extremely symbolic.




So! What do you think?


caving into you;
Joe